Christian Road Rage

Back in High School I went through a phase where all that I listened to was stand-up comedy. I downloaded a ton of routines by several comics- but without a doubt my favorite was George Carlin. He was rude, loud, and vulgar- and that is BEFORE he gets going on a rant. I would like to say that his vulgarity wasn't the only reason that I liked him... but because I was a High School boy at the time I would probably just be lying to you. Man that guy could swear!

However- looking back on his acts and reading through one of his books (Napalm and Silly Putty) as an "adult" I still chuckle at his vulgarity but I realize the real quality that makes Carlin, or any other comic, funny is how observant they are regarding human nature. Carlin's routines are funny because they are very very true. I think the saying "at the heart of every joke lies a little bit of truth" is spot-on. If it wasn't true then it wouldn't be funny. One of the best examples I can offer of Carlin's insight can be seen in his take on drivers. He asks a very simple question.

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

He is exactly right- the only perfect driver is you. We see everyone else in relation to ourselves. This isn't just true in driving either- I realized today that I do it with everything I come into contact with.

I walked into church today in a very good mood. I had just woken up a mere 45 mins before and my body hadn't yet figured out that I tricked it into waking up at 8am on a Sunday. This past week I had heard from the church's service coordinator that they have several medical pagers for passing out to doctors, nurses, and apparently pharmacists- so that if something were to happen during the service there would be quick and knowledgeable professional response. This was my first sunday picking up a pager. I was doing my good deed for the day. I had a purpose. I was silently smug and prideful! I got my cup of coffee (hoping to starve off my impending nap until AFTER the service) and took my seat with my friends. Then I started my favorite past time...

Now many of you who know me must be thinking- "I didn't know you could play disc golf in Church" but that isnt the past time I am referring to. I happen to be referring to the game I like to call "Judging Other Christians". There she was- the same lady as last week. Same red dress. Same GIANT acrylic nails. Same three praise music "dance" moves- always mixed and matched to the tempo, style, or feel of the song... and of course she is sitting in the very front row. A quick glance around the room confirms that yes- she is the only one dancing. And despite all of this I can't explain to you now why she bothers me, but she does! I don't know if the enthusiasm feels fake or what, but something strikes me as off kilter about the whole situation.

(Now, please mind you that all of this is coming from the man who does his own amount of dancing to praise music, sings far louder than he should, and in his estimation would be a pain to worship next to or near- go figure!)

I block her from my mind and go back to singing (it is one of my favorite hymns after all- cant let her ruin that for me) and it occurs to me that the man across the aisle is not only not singing- he hardly has his eyes open! Not in the "I am so into this song" eyes closed- the "I should have gotten coffee like this loud annoying guy across the aisle" eyes closed. Who does he think he is? (For now, let's just ignore the fact that I can simultaneously "worship" my creator AND scope out every other person in the sanctuary- I think that's a topic for another day... unfortunately)

Are we making the connection yet?

It seems that anyone being "more worshipful" than me is a distraction, bother and annoyance- and anyone being "less worshipful" than me is being rude, unappreciative, and a unchristian! I seem to view other Christians the same way I view other drivers... in relation to myself as the definition of perfection.

Another example- I was listening to a radio show which happened to be hosting a favorite blog of mine- www.stuffchristianslike.net. It was prerecorded but Jon (yes, I am on a first name basis with the blog author I have never met nor communicated with) kindly linked it in a recent post. I was just laying around in bed listening for the wisdom imparted by Jon and the host Chris Fabry when the "call-in" questions happened. A lady called in and just went to town about coming to the cross, about how we are too caught up on the "power of the blood" and need to dwell on the cross. With each sentence she becomes louder and more aggressive. Mind you- that none of this had anything to do with Jon's message or reflection for that day. I rolled over in bed and thought to myself- "wow, what a wacko." Please consider yourself JUDGED! Obviously someone more zealous than me about any particular topic is a maniac. Pure Carlin.

What does this all say about me? I want to say that it means I am human- that it is in our nature to judge the world around us based on the most constant thing we know- US. It cant say that though. Somehow, a long time ago, I let this idea take hold that God is limited to the way I want to see him; that faith is only to be expressed in ways that I am comfortable with. Now, I think its time for me to stop with my christian road rage.

I hope that the lady in red is in my service next week- so I can learn to practice patience and loving others. I also hope that the message isn't to rough for me to hear. We are looking at Matt 7:1-2. Go Figure...

¹"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matt 7:1-2