Have you ever needed something awesome and mind-blowing to happen?

Things have been awful recently and sometimes I just need a reminder that God is still watching out for me.... It's been a while since I had one of those.

I just need to feel loved right now in a way that friends and family just can't provide.

Le Sigh

#SCLP Roundup III

Psalms 12

@prodigaljohn "May the LORD cut off all flattering lips & every boastful tongue." P12 Reason #987 to be humble

@gustafsonk Ps 12- Living in the generation I do, I feel David's cry. "The faithful have vanished from among men." What is my role in fixing it?

@blundin When you are surrounded by deceit and boasts cling to the word of the Lord that is "pure like silver refined in a furnace" Psalm 12:6

@philigionosophy The words of man are many times deceitful, but the words of the Lord are always pure - Day 12 - http://tumblr.com/xal5mfo5g

@LisaNotes Place your total trust here: "The words of the LORD are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground." Ps 12:6

@autumnlindsay_ For the poor & needy, the Lord will arise and place them in safety. P12:5s

@staidan Lord, when faith is faint & speech veils our intentions, restore us by your word of power & purity, both now & for ever. Refl. on Ps12

Psalm 13

@prodigaljohn "How long?" Are the two most mournful words but David still ends with "he has been good to me." P13

@GustafsonK Psalm 13- Patience is a virtue. David asks "how long, how long" and yet knows how good the Lord is to him.

@joelt_ Psa13-The world says maturity is moving from dependence 2 independence. God desires us to move from independence to dependence on Him

@LisaNotes A pattern in many of David's psalms: Start by calling out to God; end by praising him. Like this one: Psalm 13

@blundin When God seems far away we should still trust him because of the love and grace he has already shown us. Psalm 1

@philigionosophy God's love is unfailing, unrelenting, and unchanging - Day 13 - http://tumblr.com/xal5nicjf

Psalm 14

@prodigaljohn God is constantly called a refuge in Psalms, a shelter from trouble. So when it comes, don't try to fix it first. Take refuge. P14

@GustafsonK Psalms 14:2 - The Lord is not aloof in heaven but instead painstakingly follows each and every man. 6 billion and counting

@LisaNotes Who says, "There is no God"? Only a fool. Ps 14:

@philigionosophy The lack of righteousness leads toward corruption - Day 14 - http://tumblr.com/xal5o93td

@blundin "There is none who does good, not even one." Psalm 14:3 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

@staidan Do you have a foolish heart? Ps 14:1

@jared_young Why do we shy away from God when He is constantly called a refuge (shelter, shield, etc.)? Psalms

PSalms 15

@prodigaljohn When it comes to things God despises, gossip is mentioned more times than murder in Psalms. P15

@GustafsonK Psalms 15- Strength is rooted in Compassion, Truth, and Integrity.

@LisaNotes "You'll never get blacklisted if you live like this." Psalm 15:5 (The Message)

@blundin We are defined by our relationships and how we treat others. Psalm 15

@joelt_ Psa15-Thinking that if I/we were to live this with fierce intensity, much would change. David says it's the key to a solid foundation

@philigionosophy Only the righteous can enter // Designing through Psalms - Day 15 - http://tumblr.com/xal5pa4wo

Psalms 16

@prodigaljohn "apart from you I have no good thing" - I think God's nickname should be "enough" because he is. P16

@GustafsonK Psalms 16:5 In the midst of all my struggles re:my future plans, David said it the best. "You have assigned me my cup and my portion"

@blundin Our lot and placement in life is a "beautiful inheritance", in which the Lord wants us to be content. Psalm 16

@autumnlindsay_ The lines have fallen for me me in pleasant places...P16:6

@philigionosophy I have been given a great gift: A path to follow. Designing through Psalms - day 16 - http://tumblr.com/xal5qivrh

@staidan I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;apart from you I have no good thing." Ps 16:2 Where do your priorities lie?

Psalm 17

@GustafsonK Psalms 17:14 Save me from men who's reward is THIS life. "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven... " Matt 6:20-21

@LisaNotes Why should you call on God? Because He will answer. Psalm 17:6

@blundin When you have nowhere else to run, run to Him. Psalm 17

Psalm 18

@GustafsonK P18:31 Who is God besides the Lord? Who is the Rock except our God? Do you smell what the rock is cooking?(apologies to Dwayne Johnson

@blundin The Lord is our refuge, supporting us with his very own hands through all challenges and enemies in this world. Psalm 18

@LisaNotes David knew how to spit it out. Verse 1: "I love you, O Lord, my strength." Ps 18. Simple and true.

@philigionosophy Designing through Psalms - Day 18 - http://tumblr.com/xal5sk1ng

A Better Tomorrow

"God ever works with those who work with will."
Aeschylus

Hello World!

It's another wonderful evening here in Wisconsin, and for the first time since returning from Ohio I haven't had anything to do outside of the house. It's been nice to cook dinner (the first in a long time) and hang out with the roommates. I haven't made any progress on cleaning my room but shhhh... I don't want to ruin tonight!

In other fantastic news I heard back from one of my residency applications and I now will finish the PGY2 season with at least one interview. I am still waiting on 3 other sites but now that the monkey is off my back I feel much better about things overall.

I have decided to commit to a regular updating schedule, in attempts to force myself to write and to retain some sort of consistent readership. I will continue to due Sunday updates from #SCLP twitter devo's and now I promise (cross-my-heart and hope to die) to give a real update/post on Wednesdays. As part of this I sat down and began to think about what to write tonight and came to the realization that I haven't accomplished the point of this blog.

When I started writing I "made it my goal to use this year for growth despite the adversity"- something I don't think that I have done enough of thus far. My entries continue to be reflections and meditations on what faith means and the way it should look... but I haven't put myself out there to become a better person.

Don't get me wrong- I continue to grow. This is the first time in a long time that I have religiously attended church (see... see what I did there?). I have a bible study to go to and I have been spending at least a few moments everyday in the scripture thanks to twitter (Aside: That may be the first time in the history of mankind that the sentence "spending time everyday in the scripture thanks to twitter" has been uttered. Some little part of me is very proud of that.)

So... continued growth.

I am going to post my goals. If you know me- your job is to bug me about this. If you don't know me but you read this blog... its your job to bug me about this. See where I am going? These aren't all going to be religious in nature- but the underlying plan is to make me a better person. Who's with me?

(Chirp, Chirp)

Goal 1:

Eat breakfast everyday- Recently I have been getting up later and later making it hard to get to work on time in the morning. If I had to declare a mortal enemy I am pretty sure it would be my alarm clock (or crocs- but I digress). If I force myself to leave enough time for breakfast before I leave the snooze button becomes tougher to hit. Also, breakfast is good for you and I probably should be eating it anyways.

Goal 2 (and related to goal #1):

No bible, No breakfast. Simple enough. At least my twitter post BEFORE I go to work.

Goal 3:

Starting next week- my room will be clean by the time I write my Wednesday Blog. I will post time stamped pictures as proof if that becomes necessary. Every day I come home from work, look at my room and say "I need to clean this up." Now I have a reason and a deadline.

Readers: Thanks for everything. Leave comments, tell me what you think. Please know that I mean every word of this. Be my accountability bloggers please!

In Him,

Gus

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."
Doug Firebaugh

#SCLP part II

SCLP project

Psalms 5

@prodigaljohn David calls liars people with throats that are "open graves." May our tombs be closed today & truth spill out

@GustafsonK Psalms 5:8- It is God who provides me with direction... with a straight path

@jared_young If only we had confidence in God that David had. "Give ear to my words." He demands God to listen b/c he has a right perspective Ps5:1

@LisaNotes How to have meaningful time with God (Rick Warren) Ps 5:3

@blundin We can only approach God through the abundance of His steadfast love. Psalm 5:7

@philigionosophy I take grace for granted way to much - Day 5 - http://tumblr.com/xal5g9dwo

Psalms 6

@prodigaljohn The "Don't worry, be happy 24/7" approach to faith is fake. David says "all night I flood my bed with weeping" P6

@GustafsonK Psalms 6:5- David wrote the psalm before Christ. Not only does Jesus praise the father from the grave... but through it!

@rduf May I serve the Lord on good days with as much passion as David shows when begging for mercy on his bad days. Ps6

@LisaNotes David didn't hold back on telling the Lord how he really felt. Neither should we. Psalm 6

@blundin I wonder if we have the same grief over our sin that David did over his? Psalm 6

@jeannienaylor Are my pleas to God for my sake, or His? Psalm 6:4-5.

@staidan Do not be afraid of being honest with God - heartfelt anguish trumps false joy every time - see Psalm 6. http://tinyurl.com/yg2e3ld

@philigionosophy In our sorrow, humility can grow - Day 6 - http://tumblr.com/xal5glydl

@RachLuvs How long, O Lord? -Ps6:3 Why does it matter? Why do we always question God's timing?

Psalms 7

@prodigaljohn "The trouble he causes recoils on himself" - Regardless of if you get "caught," sin is its own consequence. P7

@GustafsonK Psalms 7:14-16. Evil begets evil and falls victim to itself. 7:17 While the righteousness of God breaks the cycle

@blundin We tend to pick a God who is either righteous or merciful depending on the situation. We're wrong, He is always both. Psalm 7:8-11

@LisaNotes Ps 7:17 I will give to the LORD the thanks due to his righteousness, & I will sing praise to the name of the LORD, the Most High

@philigionosophy God must punish wrong because He is just and righteous - Day 7 - http://tumblr.com/xal5hecpb

@RachLuvs He has dug a pit and fallen into the hole. -Ps7:15 When we set traps for others, we usually end up caught in our own trap.

Psalms 8

@prodigaljohn "When I consider your heavens," Don't let life get so fast that you miss the extraordinary call of God in middle of ordinary days. P8

@gustafsonk Ps8: Who am I that the Lord of all the earth/ would care to know my name? -Casting Crowns

@joelt_ Psa8 - All authority, glory or honor is "crowned" by the Lord. And our praise of Him is what cripples the enemy. #sclp <~~ Join us!

@philigionosophy I totally feel with David when he asks "who is man that you are mindful of him?" - Day 8 - http://tumblr.com/xal5hokey

@blundin Insignificant though we are in this universe, we were entrusted by God with the care of His creations. This is a heavy burden. Psalm 8

@jennosteen Evidence of grace in our earthly home. Ps. 8:3-4

@jeannienaylor Imagining this scene, I only picture his fingers gently placing them like a child puts stickers on a paper, simple yet perfect. Ps 8:3

Psalms 9

@prodigaljohn "he does not ignore the cry of the afflicted." PS9. It isn't he does not ignore silence of the afflicted. Cry.

@GustafsonK Psalms 9:10- How nice to know that in a world of constant disappointment that we have a God who will NEVER forsake us if we seek him.

@LisaNotes I'm making this my theme for the day--Trust & Thankfulness. Psalm 9:1,9-11

@blundin Because of God's judgement of the wicked and our righteousness through Christ the Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed. Psalm 9:7-10

@philigionosophy It's insane how much of Psalms is David praising God - Day 9 - http://tumblr.com/xal5jcfqq

@j_little Rx for hope: knowing that God accomplishes justice & never abandons those who seek his help. Ps 9

Psalms 10

@gustafsonk Psalms 10- Though the wicked may prosper and sneer- but the Lord desires and defends the afflicted!

@LisaNotes God hears our desires; God strengthens our hearts; God acts justly toward the orphans and oppressed. Ps 10:17-18

@jeannienaylor If I'm not trusting Him, do I really know His name? If I feel forsaken, have I honestly been seeking Him? Psalm 9:10

@blundin In view of Haiti's plight: "Arise, O Lord, O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted." Psalm 10:12

@philigionosophy God listens to and defends the oppressed - Day 10 - http://tumblr.com/xal5kpbac

@staidan "But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;you consider it to take it in hand" Ps 10:14 Hard as it seems, know God is in control.

Psalms 11

@GustafsonK Psalms 11- The world aims it's arrows at the upright heart. Evil loves to see the righteous fall.

@joelt_ Psa11 - David reminds us of our reason for hope even when the very foundations of the world are crumbling.

@philigionosophy Though the wicked shoot to kill, the upright can find refuge in the Lord - Day 11 - http://tumblr.com/xal5lms77

The Best Laid Plans...

"But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,

In proving foresight may be vain:

The best laid schemes o' mice an' men

Gang aft agley,

An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,

For promis'd joy!

Still thou are blest, compared wi' me!

The present only toucheth thee:

But och! I backward cast my e'e,

On prospects drear!

An' forward, tho' I canna see,

I guess an' fear!"

Robert Burns- To A Mouse

If you are ever feeling bored and up for a challenge I would highly recommend that you read the full poem above. It is pretty tough but very worth it.

In the poem, a farmer plows through a mouses nest and offers an apology for destroying his home. He concludes with the thoughts written above. Blessed is the mouse, who prepares for the future yet lives only in the present. Mean while the man is cursed to look both forward and back in time- regretting the past and fearing the unknown future.

As I may have alluded to earlier, the residency gig has been a source of discomfort in my life recently. For years I have had this plan- I would get a PGY2 residency, meet the girl of my dreams, settle down with a job at a university, work part time at a hospital, and start my life. Done and Done. I never in my wildest dreams thought about "what if that doesn't happen?" That is the question facing me now... What if?

Now the intent of this post isn't to moan about my life, and I certainly don't expect (or want) sympathy on the matter. It is instead to learn the lesson the farmer sought to learn... To live in the present. I live in a wonderful city, surrounded by people (and new friends) who care for me far more than they should. Why should I be worried about 6 months from now? Why should I waste the present with my worry and my concern?

That is the ultimate irony, in continuing to live my life the way I have been would be a double failure. By fearing the future I waste the present- and then someday I will look back and regret that I didn't take the time to invest myself in the people and city of Madison. I would get myself both coming and going.

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." - Luke 12:27

Or better yet...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Here's to the life of a mouse... where the present only toucheth thee

In him,

Gus

Best of #SCLP

So for those of you who are unaware, there exists a wonderful blog written by Jon Acuff called Stuff Chrisitans Like. It is fantastic and if you have a chance you should check it out.

Jon (yes, we are on a first name basis) also has a solid presence on twitter (@prodigaljohn). He recently combined the two in a project designed to work through the book of psalms. Essentially, each day is a new chapter and he posts a short (140 character) thought/devoton related to that psalm. In addition to his contributions, Jon encourages others to add their thoughts to the pool- producing a grass roots daily devotional!

Each week while this goes on- I will be writing an entry to recap the best of psalms as provided by the people of twitter. So without further adu: #SCLP

Psalms 1

@prodigaljohn I fear "meditates day & night" on law is not same as a 30min quiet time each morn. Delight starts with discipline. P1:2

@GustafsonK Psalms 1:2 Do I find my delight in the law or begrudgingly follow it?

@joelt_ Psa1: Walking, standing & sitting in God's Word day & night replants us in a place of fruitfulness & presperity.

@blundin "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked" Psalms 1:1 Who do you take your advice from?

@LisaNotes Are you a tree? Be one. Not only for you, but for someone else. Psalm 1. http://bit.ly/8cGPMe

@jeannienaylor The blessed tree doesn't yield fruit year round, but that doesn't stop it from growing & providing shade & beauty while it waits. P1:3

@jimmy_young Keep tight to God, get your nourishment from Him, be rooted in what He provides. Fix yourself on Him! Psalm 1

@AymieJoi Even when life sucks, & the "bad" people are winning, God is watching and protecting me. Ps 1:6

@philigionosophy live wisely by training yourself to meditate on God's Word - http://tumblr.com/xal5atkra

Psalms 2

@prodigaljohn "You are my son." 4 of the biggest words in the Bible. 4 are the hardest words to believe when we feel dirty. P2:7

@GustafsonK Psalms 2:2-6 Though the world may stand against them, the Lord has appointed and protects HIS rulers.

@LisaNotes “Worship God in adoring embrace, celebrate in trembling awe.” Ps 2:11 (The Message)

@blundin The plots and plans of the mighty come to nothing outside of the sovereign will of the Lord. Psalm 2

@jeannienaylor It seems so simple when you take it down to the basics- serve & rejoice. Ps. 2:11

@philigionosophy Our Father is generous to His children -http://tumblr.com/xal5c7f39

Psalms 3

@prodigaljohn Fear not, days were all you can do is lie down & wake for the weight of your hurt is a day lived like David. P3:5

@GustafsonK Psalms 3:3 I don't earn any glory- it is bestowed by God... P3:8 (message) "Your blessing clothes your people!"

@joelt_ Psa 3 - Nothing comes to us that doesn't first pass through the sheild around us that is th Lord.

@blundin When everyone turns on you, even those you love, do not fear because salvation comes from the Lord. Psalm 3

@RachLuvs I act like Ps2:12 says "Blessed r all who can handle their junk on their own" instead of "Blessed r all who take refuge in Him"

@jeannienaylor Never have I awakened as a result of my own strength. Ps. 3:5

@jennosteen my protector, my sustainer...my everything. Ps. 3:3

@philigionosophy I have one heck of a shield Psalm 3:3 -http://tumblr.com/xal5da6f4

Psalms 4

@prodigaljohn "Greater joy" makes bling seem like brass & wine like water & money like thin, powerless green paper. P4

@GustafsonK Psalms 4:7- I have more joy in an ordinary day than the rest of the world could possibly imagine (message)

@LisaNotes "At day's end [OR BEGINNING] I'm ready for sound sleep, for you, GOD, have put my life back together." Ps 4:8 (The Message)

@staidan Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord (Psalm 4:6) - then help us show that light to all we meet.

@joelt_ Psa4 - David asked God to fill him with joy when the needs of his enemies were met. Wow

@blundin Our safety and security is only found in the Lord. Psalm 4

@dinglemunch @prodigaljohn INXS "Devil Inside" vs. Psalm 5:4. How's that for a tie-in to today's psalm?

I hope you find as much hope and meaning in these words as I do.

In Him,
Gus

Radar Up

I wish I could express how wonderful this week has been for me thus far.

Like a good employee, I got up early and headed into work on Monday despite being slightly travel lagged and relatively tired. As soon as I got in, I went right up to work on the floors and didn't even bother to check my schedule (and really- why should I... I just have rotations during the week).

After working for the morning, I came back from lunch and my co-resident was like "where have you been all morning? We have a work week this week!". It was at this moment that the heavens parted and a bright light shown into my windowless office. A work week! I have heard wonders of the mythical "W" day at Meriter- but an entire week is unheard of.

This is all wonderful though, because my one page of notebook paper is no longer able to contain my to-do list. Instead of 4 weeks of stress and frustration I have a fantastic opportunity to knock off a big chunk of the stuff that has been put off for FAR to long.

The big question is: What am I going to do with it all? Not what am I going to do with all the time... what am I going to do with this gift? How is God using this event in my life?

I have a major tendency to see God moving in the major things in my life... Me ending up in Madison, in where I am going to live next year, in finding Blackhawk church and in my wonderful life group. But what about all the little things that happen in my life? Do I see God's plan for me in a light work week, or a layover in Minneapolis?

Bible stories are fascinating to me, mostly because I am awful at reading them. One of the things I am learning (through Blackhawk) is how much awesomeness is packed into the beginning of the stories- the setting of the scene. Lets look at Acts 17:13-34. Here we find a wonderful story about Paul witnessing to Athens through culturally relevant means. It is a powerful example of Paul's ministry... but the story means so much more when you look at the beginning, the setting, the context.

¹³When the Jews in Thessalonica learned that Paul was preaching the word of God at Berea, they went there too, agitating the crowds and stirring them up. ¹⁴The brothers immediately sent Paul to the coast, but Silas and Timothy stayed at Berea. ¹⁵The men who escorted Paul brought him to Athens and then left with instructions for Silas and Timothy to join him as soon as possible. ¹⁶While Paul was waiting for them in Athens...

The amazing thing about this story isn't the ministry (we all know Paul could preach). It is that he was there by accident! It was a layover for him the way that Minneapolis was a layover for me to and from Las Vegas a couple weeks ago. Instead of kicking up his feet and enjoying his break, Paul's "God Radar" was up- he was aware of the world around him and how God wanted to use him.

How did God want to use me in Minneapolis? I am sure he had a plan but I honestly have no idea what it was because... I wasn't looking. My radar was focused on me and not looking for God's still quiet voice. How many times in my life have I been in Athens and missed a chance to do God's work?

It is to late for me to realize my potential in Minneapolis... but what will I do with this week? With this Gift? Here's to keeping my radar up and my thoughts on a plan so much greater than I can imagine!

In Him,

Gus

My long neglected thoughts...

When I first brought up this page again, I had every intention of explaining how busy I have been and promising to do better with updating. (One update in 3 months is pretty sad- even for me). BUT... I don't want to lie to you, my ever faithful reader. I say "ever faithful reader" because if you manage to find your way to this blog after a lay-off that long you are far more faithful and loving than I would even expect my own mother to be (unless you are my mother- in which case I love you).

I will however give you a quick update on my life and the movement of God through it.

Since our last encounter I have managed to find a wonderful group of twenty-somethings from Blackhawk Church to share my Tuesday evenings with. It was completely by chance that I met up with the leader- but things just magically fell into place and I have a new "life group" friends group which has provided me with a lot of the things I have been missing about ONU. In addition one of the girls in the group knows my friend Punk and when I get to talk to her I am reminded how small a world we really live in.

My work continues to be tough. My hours are long and the work bounces between overwhelming and nonexistent depending on the minute. I feel like the residency world is a lot of expectations and plenty of the hurry up and wait mentality. Currently on my to-do list is finish a CE, write a hemodialysis case for UW, write a hepatitis lecture for UW, and catch up on all the readings that I neglected over Christmas.

I have finished all of my residency applications for next year. The final cut of programs are:

Temple University, Philadelphia

University of Michigan, Ann Arbor

Midwestern University, Chicago

Barnes-Jewish Hospital, St Louis

University of Texas, Austin

I am now (not so) patiently waiting to hear about interviews. Wake Forest took 27 applications for one spot so prayers about my future next year are appreciated. There are no guarantees in this line of work anymore.

Lastly, I just got back to Cheese Land from a week in Ohio. While I do my best to live in the present and not worry about "missing" home- it sure was nice to be surround by family. I don't think I do a good enough job staying in contact with loved ones. Had I been thinking I would have made that my New Years Resolution.... but I didn't. However I think I will make an attempt to be a better son and keep my mom in the loop regarding my life. (When your mom joins twitter just to know what is going on in your life there is something wrong). I miss all my friends, miss my family, and miss feeling "at home". I guess that means that I just need to make here my home. I'll add that to my to-do list...

As always, God is great. He is moving in my life and I am excited to see where he is leading me.

I love you all!

In Him,

Kyle (Gus)

PS. I have a list of topics to write about- perhaps I will try to ink one of those here in the near future :)